my friend told me how electricity is measured and i was like watt

(Source: baracks)


when you wake up early in the morning and sit on the edge of your bed like



don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…


I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.

(Source: flygoing)


how many followers do you need before someone orders you a pizza for free

(Source: phiones)